2011 Melbourne International Comedy Festival. PART ONE: THE GOOD

33 shows seen this year. Not as good as last year's 37, but a fair effort. Many were free, a few were paid for. Theres at least another 33 I still cant believe I didnt have time for, bah!

What the fuck do I know? Nothing. This is utterly subjective. Plus I've ranked them, since, you know, art is competitive. Ahem.

Now, I've changed their names to prevent auto-googling. Since last time I had a comic whinge about her learning disabilities in the comments, and frankly, who needs that?

So, theyre all in order. Here we go:

5 out of 5 = Perfect
D4niel K1ts0n
He remains my favourite performer of anything ever. I saw the first and last Melbourne performance. I just cant even describe my creepy adoration for him. Have seen him at least twice per festival for over a decade, so yeah, scary obsessive fan alert. But he's so worth it, still.

X4v1er M1ch4ledes
I have a crazy short attention span. Even if I'm loving a show, I'm still kind of looking for the end so I can do other stuff. But I wanted this show to go for another three hours. He's an astounding performer.

4.5 out of 5 = Amazing
S4m S1mm0ns
He gets better every year. I know he's quite a polarising performer, but I just love watching him. He makes me laugh so much I have to actively stop my obnoxious guffaws. But there's also a darkness, a self-hatred, that I respond to. Also, I'm pretty sure hes the only comedian I'd bone.

B4rry M0rg4n's W0rld of 0rgans
This one was such a treat! Pitch-perfect characterisation, such a fun, silly, joyful, daggy show. A gifted performer both musically and comedically (is that a word?). I even bought a t-shirt afterwards. I dont even wear t-shirts!

Z0e C00mbs-M4rr
Fascinating performance. Fucking daring too, and god am I starved for that. I can't wait to see what she comes up with next.

4ndr3w 0'Neill - Out of Step
Love him, love him. But as a metalhead transvestite, he's kind of purpose built for my demographic. He did a bit about whether things were goth or metal. Ever since then, Ive been categorising everything in that way.

M1ch4el W0rkm4n
I saw him as part of the Comedy Zone last year, and couldn't wait to se what else he came up with. And my god, this story show was brilliant. He won best newcomer, beating Zoe (above).

4 out of 5 = Excellent
4ndr3w 0'Neill - Occult Comedian
A one-off repeat session of his show from last year. Loved it the second time round.

Ash3r Tr3lev4n
He tackles racism, but preaches to the converted. In this sense, his show from last year (exploring a straight man's campness) was better. Still absolutely fucking brilliant, though. And the end story was, as always, a fucking corker. One of Australia's best new performers.

M4ria B4mf0rd
Upon a recommendation from the same person who talked up X4vi3r, so how could I not? She was brilliant. My favourite bit was the broad comedy, where she effortlessly impersonated one of those horrid mainstream female comedians.

F3st1val Club
Not really appropriate to rank, but it's always good fun and I wish I'd been able to go more. Though I did beat my last year effort of once.

3.5 out of 5 = Good
Sm4rt C4su4l
First time I've seen them, but will definitely be checking them out in future. There are few things more lovely that seeing a duo (or group) of performers so in synch with each other.

L4wr3nce L3ung
Not his best show, but well worthwhile. He and Andy (below) are my go-to recommendations when people ask what to see. Since I know they're always going to be a joy.

4ndr3w McClell4nd
Exactly the same as above.

G3r4ldine H1ck3y
Last year, I went to the so-so D4ve Th0rnt0n thinking it was the brilliant D4v3 Bl0uste1n. This year, I dashed into a room thinking it was a Qu1nn, but getting a H1ck3y. And I'm so glad I did! I've always been annoyed by her since she's one of those butch straight girls who terrify and confuse me. And she's been doing the queer comedy circuit, which appeared to be a cynical attempt by a straight woman to cash in on the pink market. But no! She's come out! And she totally won me over during this very funny show. I'd love to see her again.

M4rc M4r0n
Have listened to his podcast a few times. An example of the fact - yes, fact - that Americans are the best stand up comedians from a technical standpoint. I can back this up for about an hour if you make the mistake of asking me about it IRL.

D3ad C4t B0unce
Funny, and good music. Just wish I could have seen their Bootlegs show, raved about by many good people.

Th3 Paj4ma M3n
First time seeing these guys. Enjoyable, fantastic, but I'd have to see them again. I'm not yet convinced that they deserve the rabid 5-star reviews they get. Still, very tight, and very accomplished.

The H3rm1tude of 4ngus, Ecst4t1c
I am so fucking starved for new things. In every aspect of life, there are so many jeans and tee combos and not enough cunty getups. So while this show was hit and miss, I loved that it's doing something completely different, and pushing boundaries of performance. For that alone it deserves its sold-out run. Also, the fact that clowning gets such a bad reputation, and there really aren't many accomplished clowns (as opposed to 'clowns') around anymore.

H3adl1ners: S3an P4tt0n, M4rina Fr4nkl1n, M4tt Br4ung3r
A good show to see if you're not a comedy guy. Broad, enjoyable, all professionals. I had many a conversation with both the guys throughout the fest, both were lovely and heaps of fun.

Just1n H4m1lt0n
While not my kind of guy, I really respect how good at the craft he is. A careful, well written and considered show, I enjoyed it even though its not my usual type of comedy.

St0ryt3ll3r's Club: Parents and Childhood
Always a mixed bag, but always a lovely night. Definitely go along to one if you ever can.

So they were the good ones. Stay tuned for Part 2, the not-so-good.

Lovers, your turn. What did you see? What did you think? Be prepared to be mocked mercilessly if all you saw was one or two big names. Seriously, I will destroy you.